2013년 11월 23일 토요일

About '800 numbers canada'|...That's where ecumenism and inter-religious dialogue has to go." Although numbers are difficult to determine, it is estimated that the Society of...







About '800 numbers canada'|...That's where ecumenism and inter-religious dialogue has to go." Although numbers are difficult to determine, it is estimated that the Society of...








The               following               accounts               are               not               for               the               faint               at               heart               but               their               stories               NEED               to               be               told.

"A               22-year-old               widowed               teacher               in               India               is               forced               to               climb               upon               her               husband's               funeral               pyre               and               burn               alive.

Not               far               from               where               this               is               taking               place,               a               young               woman               is               found,               still               alive               but               blinded,               eardrums               perforated               and               her               nipples               and               genitals               torn               away               with               a               pair               of               pliers."
               These               bone-chilling               words               constitute               the               opening               of               a               new               novel               "The               Ashram"               authored               by               the               novice               Indian               writer               Sattar               Memon.

The               book               came               highly               recommended               by               abused               women's               group               "Saheli".

It               exposes,               I               was               told,               stark               women's               abuse               and               through               the               protagonist               Dr.

Jonathan               Kingsley,               leads               to               the               emancipation               of               abused               women.

The               book               lived               up               to               its               image.
               Seeta;               the               young               school               teacher               in               a               village               of               India               is               about               to               sit               atop               a               blazing               pyre               and               hold               her               deceased               husband's               head               in               her               lap,               wants               to               become               suttee               so               that               her               soul               can               join               her               beloved               in               heaven.

As               I               read,               I               broke               out               in               a               cold               sweat               and               began               panting.

To               be               fair               to               the               author,               I               won't               divulge               this               page-turner's               mind               boggling               and               vivid               scenarios,               but               you'll               be               relieved               to               know               that               no               new               suttee               has               taken               place               in               India               since               1989               when               a               young               woman               named               Roopkumar               actually               burnt               to               death               in               the               regal               state               of               Rajasthan.

But               the               way               some               unfortunate               women               are               still               undergoing               a               variety               of               abuse               and               feeling               its               pain,               shame               and               damage               to               the               psyche,               some               wish               they               as               well               might               be               burnt               to               death               to               escape               the               pain.
               The               same               pain               I               know               all               to               well,               as               I               too               was               an               abused               woman.
               Suttee               aside,               let               me               share               with               you               the               depth               and               magnitude               of               women's               abuse               that               is               going               on               in               every               corner               of               the               world.

But               first,               mind               you,               when               it               comes               to               the               abuse               of               women,               the               United               States               of               America               is               no               exception.
               A               one-month               pregnant               woman               in               the               USA               is               stabbed               to               death               by               her               son,               while               nearby               a               woman               is               doused               with               gasoline,               thrown               inside               a               cab               and               set               on               fire               by               her               husband.

Her               screams               for               help               are               not               answered               in               time               and               she               burns               to               death.
               A               young               woman               in               Africa               succumbs               to               infection               and               dies               after               being               subjected               to               the               "harmless               practice"               of               female               circumcision.
               A               29-year-old               wife               and               mother               lay               in               a               Saudi               Arabia               hospital               bed               after               having               been               practically               beaten               to               death               by               her               husband.

Their               young               son               watches               as               his               mother's               head               is               repeatedly               slammed               into               a               marble               floor               and               then               into               a               wall,               leaving               her               unrecognizable.
               A               13-year               old               Parisian               girl               reports               that               for               years               her               own               father               has               been               sexually               molesting               her.
               Girls               and               women               in               Bangladesh               and               Pakistan               have               acid               thrown               on               their               faces               and               bodies               leaving               them               horribly               disfigured               when               their               spurned               husbands               or               would-be               suitors.
               In               South               Korea               a               pregnant               woman               has               her               torso               prodded               with               a               kitchen               knife               over               and               over               by               her               husband,               who               then               throws               her               to               the               ground               and               hits               her               on               the               head               a               coffee               canister               so               hard               that               she               needed               10               stitches.

When               her               scalp               heals,               he               smashes               it               again.

Same               spot.

More               stitches.
               A               little               girl               of               just               6               years               old               in               Afghanistan,               who               should               be               thinking               of               playing               with               her               friends,               is               instead               being               married               off               to               an               adult               male               in               return               for               bride               money.

In               the               same               country,               a               27               year               old               women               languishes               in               prison               and               is               charged               with               adultery               because               she               has               run               away               from               her               husband's               home               and               beating               rituals.

Others               still               remain               prisoners               in               their               own               homes.
               Bride-burning,               wife-beating,               widow               burning,               female               mutilation               and               infanticide,               rape,               mental,               verbal               and               physical               torture,               public               humiliation               and               acid               attacks;               they               happen               everywhere,               Russia,               Iran,               Switzerland,               Brazil,               Canada,               and               Dubai.

In               all               countries               and               all               walks               of               life,               mothers,               daughters,               sisters,               girlfriends               and               wives               are               suffering               what               is               termed               as               "unspeakable               crimes"               against               them.
               The               idea,               which               this               term               "unspeakable"               implies               is               exactly               what               adds               to               the               reason               why               it               continues.

Unspeakable?

In               this               day               and               age,               it               can               no               longer               be               something               we               hide               or               only               speak               of               only               in               hushed               whispers.

It               is               a               "social               cancer"               and               needs               to               be               eradicated!
               The               Statistics
               The               reports               and               statistics               we               will               mention               are               staggering               enough               but               many               attacks               and               abusive               situations               are               never               reported,               leaving               the               numbers               inconclusive               and               much               worse               than               we               think.

Please               take               a               serious               look               at               the               following               incidents               from               the               international               fact               sheet               on               gender               violence,               published               by               the               UN               Non-Governmental               Agency,               UNIFEM.
               INDIA               
               It               is               estimated               that               more               than               7,000               women               in               India               will               be               murdered               by               their               families               and               in-laws               in               disputes               over               dowries.

160,000               Nepalese               women               are               held               in               India's               brothels.

Discrimination               against               girls               are               so               strong               in               the               Punjab               state               of               India               that               those               aged               2               to               4               die               at               twice               the               rate               of               boys.

Statistics               from               2000               showed               that               on               average               a               woman               is               raped               every               hour               in               India.

This               is               a               very               conservative               number               due               to               the               fact               that               victims               are               often               reluctant               to               report               rape.

Why?

In               an               open               court               victims               must               prove               that               the               rapist               sexually               penetrated               them               in               order               to               get               a               conviction.

This               can               be               especially               damaging.

After               proving               that               she               has               been               raped,               a               victim               is               often               ostracized               from               her               family               and               community.

This               problem               is               exacerbated               by               the               fact               that               rape               laws               are               inadequate               and               definitions               so               narrow               that               prosecution               is               made               difficult.

Protected               by               powerful               lobbies,               landlords               and               men               in               uniform               continue               to               rape.
               USA               
               While               it               has               been               said               that               here               in               America               the               rate               for               such               heinous               crimes               has               decreased               in               recent               years,               here's               what               we               know               -               About               1               in               3               American               women               have               been               physically               or               sexually               assaulted               by               a               husband               or               boyfriend               at               some               point               in               their               lives.

A               woman               is               raped               every               6               minutes,               battered               every               15               seconds.

683,000               women               are               raped               each               year,               according               to               the               National               Women's               Study.

This               translates               to               1               every               3               minutes,               78               per               hour,               1,871               per               day.

9               out               of               10               women               murdered               are               killed               by               men;               most               are               at               the               hands               of               a               male               partner.

10-14%               of               all               married               women               in               the               US               and               at               least               40%               of               battered               wives               have               been               raped               by               their               husbands.
               ELSEWHERE               
               More               than               15,000               women               have               been               sold               into               sexual               slavery               in               China.
               Assassination               of               women               in               Bangladesh               by               their               husbands               accounts               for               50%               of               all               murders.
               In               Papua,               New               Guinea,               67%               of               rural               women               and               56%               of               urban               women               have               been               victims               of               wife               abuse.
               In               the               Maternity               Hospital               of               Lima,               Peru,               90%               of               young               mothers               aged               12               to               16               have               been               raped               by               their               father,               stepfather               or               a               close               relative.
               A               survey               of               women               in               Barbados               revealed               that               nearly               1/3               has               been               sexually               abused               during               childhood               or               adolescence.
               Every               1               1/2               minutes               a               woman               is               raped               in               South               Africa,               that's               approximately               386,000               women               each               year.

In               North               Africa,               6,000               women               are               genitally               mutilated               each               day.

Half               of               Kenya's               maternal               mortality               rate               of               170               per               100,000               live               births               is               due               to               circumcision's               infibulations               and/or               other               harmful               traditional               practices.
               Among               the               Vietnamese               boat               people,               39%               of               women               are               abducted               and               raped               while               at               sea.

Again               due               to               unreported               incidents,               this               number               is               very               likely               underestimated.
               One               study               of               33               infibulated               Somali               women,               all               had               to               have               extensive               episiotomies               (cutting)               during               childbirth,               and               their               second               stage               labor               was               five               times               longer               than               normal;               five               of               their               babies               died,               and               21               suffered               oxygen               deprivation               due               to               the               long               and               obstructed               labor.
               The               Feelings
               Fear,               shame,               worthlessness,               pain,               denial,               loneliness,               depression,               despair               and               suicide,               are               some               of               the               feelings               experienced               by               the               victims.

Many               are               led               to               believe               that               the               abuse               is               a               direct               result               of               something               they               did               to               "deserve               it",               turning               them               from               victim               to               the               cause               of               the               abuse.
               Some               learn               at               an               early               age               to               cope               by               blocking               out               the               abuse,               others               have               constant               horrifying               memories,               which               replay               over               and               over               again               in               their               mind               even               when               they're               not               being               abused               at               that               particular               moment.

The               pattern               of               going               from               one               abusive               relationship               to               another               is               played               out               all               too               often,               as               the               abused               feel               they               aren't               worthy               of               anything               better.
               Many               victims               have               taken               to               the               unhealthy               practice               commonly               known               as               "cutting"               or               self-inflicting               wounds               by               a               sharp               object,               (i.e.

razor,               knife,               scissors,               or               even               the               sharp               edge               of               the               tab               on               a               soda               can)               enough               to               break               the               skin               and               make               it               bleed,               on               their               wrists,               arms,               legs               and/or               stomach.

It               is               used               sometimes               as               a               "wake               up"               from               the               numbness               experienced               after               a               traumatic               episode               of               abuse.

Some               say               it               gives               them               a               sense               of               relief,               expresses               their               pain               or               helps               them               try               and               gain               control               over               a               situation.

Although               it               starts               out               as               an               impulse,               it               can               very               quickly               become               a               compulsive               behavior,               an               addiction,               which               tricks               the               mind               into               thinking               that               this               false               sense               of               security               is               necessary,               leaving               it               to               crave               it               the               next               time               the               tension               from               abuse               builds               up.

This               constitutes               only               an               existence               and               not               a               life               for               those               who               suffer.
               
               The               Healing               Process
               The               first               step               to               gaining               victory               over               the               violence               is               the               realization               that               you               are               not               only               a               victim               but               also               a               survivor.

Whatever               you               do,               don't               give               up!

Remember,               suicide               is               not               the               answer.

It               is               instead               a               permanent               solution               to               a               temporary               problem.

You               are               not               alone!

There               are               those               who               understand               what               you               are               going               through               and               are               willing               to               help.

Search               out               those               who               can               help               you               get               out               of               the               situation.

Talk               with               them               and               others               in               similar               situations.

Find               a               creative               outlet               for               all               the               feelings               that               have               built               up               inside               i.e.

painting,               writing,               music.

Share               your               story               with               others,               helping               them               as               well               as               yourself.

Work               towards               gaining               a               positive               attitude               on               life               and               erase               the               negativity.

In               time,               you               will               see               yourself               transform               from               a               tiny               seed               to               a               beautiful               blossoming               flower.
               There               are               many               organizations               both               internationally               and               locally               (see               entire               list               below)               who               are               tirelessly               working               to               STOP               THE               VIOLENCE               AGAINST               WOMEN!

Organizations               like               Rape               Abuse               and               Incest               National               Network               (RAINN),               Saheli               Boston,               who               have               recently               launched               a               campaign               called               'Men               Speaking               Out               to               Stop               Violence               Against               Women',               The               Joyful               Heart               Foundation,               founded               by               television               star               Mariska               Hargitay               (of               SVU               fame)               who               uses               dolphin               therapy               to               help               the               many               victims               she               encounters.
               Remember,               healing               takes               time.

Give               yourself               the               time               you               need               to               do               so.
               Wouldn't               it               be               nice,               as               in               Sattar               Memon's               'The               Ashram'               that               a               kindhearted               widowed               man               would               put               his               life               and               career               at               risk               to               save               and               protect               abused               women?

Where               are               those               brave               men?

We               need               them               and               mostly               we               need               each               other.

But               until               such               real               men,               real               heroes,               the               knights               in               shining               armor               of               our               dreams               come               to               our               rescue,               we'll               just               have               to               stand               up               on               our               own,               join               hands               high               in               the               air               and               scream               as               loudly               as               we               can:               "We               will               not               take               this               abuse               anymore!"






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